of writing and blogging and not being organized… duh?!

2 Aug

sometimes, I just want to write just the way the guys from Jars of Clay do. They have this gift for writing inspiring lyrical prose, which when someone get to hear their music or read their lyrics, would be awed at how they were able to come up with such words and put it all together to describe their feelings or thoughts.

I’ve always admired them for their gift in writing and I wish that I can do the same. I have written some poems a lot of times in the past, some of which were accepted as entries (finalist) in an international poetry contest. However, I still feel that my writings need a lot of improvements particularly on the creative side.  There has been a few times in the past when some of my musician friends approached me and ask if I could write a lyrics for them. I did not exactly agree but also didn’t disagree with the idea, but I just answer (indirectly) that I will give it a try. However, I always end up not coming up with anything. I am, often, too overwhelmed when they do that or somehow feel pressured. I know I have a lot of ideas in my mind and they are actually bothering me so much especially at night, when I can’t sleep because of the rambling thoughts I’ve got in my heads. That’s the reason why I can’t sleep early no matter what I do which often results to an argument with my parents (when I was still living with them), but then that’s another story now.

But those ideas, thoughts rambling on my head… I can’t seem to squeeze them out through my pen and paper, or to my computer. I often find myself writing an intro but can’t finish the entire stuff because I do not know which I should write first.

Or perhaps, maybe I am too focused on how people might react to what I’m going to write. Maybe, I don’t know.

Actually, I have been blogging for quite a while now although there has been an interval for a couple of years. I think one of the reasons was I had a writer’s block. Yes, for that long. My blogging life started in 2003 and I am happy to have some people I can call my readers, enjoying each entry I wrote. They never get tired of my novel-like entries… they even asked for a follow- up.  Some of them even became my good friends in real life. Although my readers weren’t as many as Limpbwisit’s back then, or mindgames’ ( I suspect none of you knows them. LOL), but they were some of the bloggers who got heaps of readers/followers during the time when blogging (at least in the PH) weren’t as popular as it is now, but I am happy to have my own fans. LOL.

But this gets me thinking, although now that the prodigal blogger is back on cyberspace, I wonder if I my writings were influenced by what I think the readers would say or think about it, or it is just me letting my thoughts flow into this piece of writing.

See right now, I know this even doesn’t even make sense at all. I mean, look at how I am writing… no focus at all. I was talking about how good jars of clay is when it comes to writing their lyrics and now, I’m talking about another thing.

Is that really my problem? Lack of focus? well on my writing. Lack of aim.

What is my aim then?

Urghhhh!!!!

I really have a problem writing I know. It’s all about how I organize my thoughts and express them finely through this blog or other ways. That’s my problem I guess, I AM NOT ORGANIZED.

Which leads me to thinking… Oh forget it. that’s going to be another entry! Will write them later.

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