Archive | November, 2008

Work, New Tasks and Office Politics.

28 Nov

There is so much on my plate these days. Work just simply eats almost my entire 24 hours. I can’t even seem to squeeze personal stuff. Urgh! This is too much!

The pressure is on me, right on top of my head. The pressure coming from the work colleagues, my former manager who won’t get out of my insy-winsy tail, as if I still work under him, and of course the pressure coming for the higher peeps in my organization.

I was not promoted but I was given a lot of new responsibilities now,  including a weekly report that I need to prepare and present in front of the executives and the big boss.

Talk about pressure.

The recent movement in our organization has brought me some good stuff and some not so good ones. I will explain ’em.

My team and I was transferred to a new department and I now directly report to the big boss but it has a pros and cons. I’ll start with the pros…

This is is not in order but I will start with the having a direct access to the boss and getting my presence felt in our organization, not just some sort of a “ghost” employee where you are not even being noticed at all. Then next is the opportunity to learn new things. Rubbing elbows with the executives every week, though most of the time, it’s all about reporting how your department is going, and some praising and bashing as well, I am seeing the weekly board meeting as my chance to learn from these higher people in our company. The way they run the company, their brilliant ideas, how they handle issues and a lot of things, just simply listening to ’em as they praise or bash you, you’ll learn. That I’d say is one of the great things I am getting out of this. Next would be the privilege to be able to call the shots for whatever I want to do with my team, of course that comes with the “ownership” , whether I do good or mess up, I own it so I got to be really wise about my decisions.

Now the not so good ones… first the pressure I am getting. They expect so much from me now. At times I am just too overwhelmed about the fact that I am doing this. It is a blessing that I get this privilege, but at times a cloud is in front of you blocking your good view.

Let me explain…

Sometimes because of the pressure I think about just backing out, I doubt myself, whether I can do it or not, whether I can meet or even exceed their expectations from me or will I be judged as an incompetent worker, not worthy of the position I am on right now. It scares me. I don’t want to fall short of what I am expected to do but I am being pushed outside of the “box” and I don’t know if I can “survive” as I leave my comfort zone.   Second, with all the demands this position I have, I think I am not well-compensated. Admit it, we all need money. And while I admit that the money I am receiving now is far from what I was receiving from my previous job, however, with me doing and thinking of the work almost 24/7 leaving me with no time at all for myself, I believe I am worthy to receive a pay rise to compensate at least for losing “my life”.

But nada! Nothing at all.

Next, my former supervisor, who like I said won’t get out of my insy-winsy tail. I was working under him for more than 6 months already when the big boss decided that I be moved to a new department and report directly to him. But this former manager still thinks that I still have to report to him and inform him of everything I do with my team and my department. He “checks” on me from time to time, ask for reports that I am not supposed to submit to him anymore, etc.. and when I told him that I was told to directly send the reports to the right people, he said to still cc: him on the email.

What the heck! Does he really need to know everything I do? As far as I am told, I have no more supervisor but everything is directly reported to the big boss. What is his problem now? Why can’t he let me go? While I still give him the things I need to submit to him but the other things he shouldn’t be concerned of, he should back off. He still want “documents” signed by him, after I sign it. Geez!!! What is wrong with him? Trying to control me? What is he scared of?

I can only see it in two ways, one is that he just can’t let me go because he thinks he lost someone important from his department or that he is threatened or don’t want me to get “promoted” or get the same stuff he gets from having the “direct access”? What is that? An ego problem? Oh man, he is seriously annoying me now. While I respect him as my former supervisor, I hope he realizes the fact that I am no longer working under him and that he should know where to stand. I don’t want him or anyone to think  that since I get this privilege, it has gone to my head. Or that I am being too proud now and doesn’t look back to where I was, which is not true at all. Never. Things are just different now from six months ago, I am given more tasks and I just have to do it right. And I just can’t compromise. What I am expected to do, I will do with God’s help and guidance. But the values and beliefs I have will remain. I’m not going to compromise them just for the sake of protecting someone in my organization. While “politics” exist in every organization, I don’t want to be part of it.

Am I Workhalic?

14 Nov

workaholicI am not workaholic. Never.

But today I worked for more than 12 hours. To be exact, 17 hours. Wow! Yeah Wow! and despite having a long day at work, I am still here blogging instead of getting some sleep. Hurray!!!!

I work in a BPO company and my work schedule is at night. It starts 9pm, supposed to end at 6am but ever since I started this job I could just count the few times when I didn’t work overtime.  So today, I went home at about 2pm…which is so far the worst “overtime” work I ever did. I don’t know if this is still “healthy”  figuratively speaking. It consumes me too much and leaves me less time, actually no time for myself and other things. My life evolves so much in my work. It is actually just work, eat and sleep and work, eat and sleep, and work, eat and sleep. A routine now. I actually don’t have a “life” now.

Okay, before I rant and write more about this. I will get some sleep. I need to. I can’t abuse myself anymore. It might backfire. Plus I still need to be at the office tonight.

Am I workhalic? I don’t think so. I just have no choice for now.

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