Archive | January, 2009

My Most Memorable Birthday

11 Jan

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Today is my birthday. I just turned 27 and I must admit that, although this isn’t the first time I felt this, I feel old, really old.

With 3 years left going to my 3 decades of existence, I’d say that I am quite scared. I know I shouldn’t be as I should put my trust in Him. That is true but I just can’t help but feel this uncertainty and insecurity of what will take place in the years to come before I turn 30. I am afraid that I would fail and that my existence will be in vain.  I know I need to put my trust to God fully and I will through His grace and mercy.

Today, at the church I went to the front to give my life’s testimony on how I’ve experience God’s faithfulness. I couldn’t describe what I was/am feeling even until now.

I don’t remember at all when God first asked me to stand in front and testify about what he did to my career. I think it was 9 months back when I started with my present job. But I failed to do it. Few months passed yet I still feel the urge that God has put into my heart to let the people know about the favor I’ve experienced from Him.  Last night, I felt the call of God again for me stand in front and let His name be glorified. And since my birthday falls on a Sunday, I thought it is a great opportunity to give praises and glory back to Him.

So there I was, seated 3-4 rows from the back while my mother preach God’s word and my dad seated in the first row. God was insistently calling me, asking me to do it. In my mind while the sermon was on going, I was rehearsing what I will say in front of the crowd. I was already feeling nervous even though I was just seated there. Then right after the sermon, I went to the first row and sat beside my dad and mom while the church’ secretary was doing an announcement of the church activities.  Then the urge to come up the stage became stronger. I had few attempts at telling mom about it but I was feeling very nervous and shy that I thought maybe next time or next month since we schedule our “testimony” every first Sunday of the month and it is already a 2nd Sunday.

But God was insisting. Then again the thought about, if not today, when? It’s the best time because it’s my birthday! So I reached to my dad and whispered to him that I want to give a testimony. He smiled and said go ahead. But I told him I was shy and I don’t feel comfortable standing in front of a crowd.  He said, you shouldn’t be. Then to my mom, she said sure and asked what will you testify. I said, “just”.

But I told her I am shy and having jitters. Then she said okay. But God didn’t give me peace. He was convincing me. So again, I leaned to my mother and asked if the testimony will be right after the announcement. She said yes then asked me if I want to, I said yeah but I am very shy and not very comfortable in front of a crowd. What she said next has really convinced me to stand up. She said,  “if you are ashamed of  Him, then He will be ashamed of you before the Father.” (It’s in the Bible too!)

Then they called me up… introduced me as the Minister’s daughter though almost everyone knows that I am. All eyes were on me. I was very nervous. I was shaking. I am not used to standing in front of a crowd but for God’s glory, I will do it I thought.

I started with the greeting but for some reasons, tears started rolling, perhaps it was a mixed of nervousness and joy for God’s awesomeness. I couldn’t think of the best way to give back praises and glory to him but to overcome my fear of standing in front and give testimony about God’s abounding love and faithfulness. Although, I must admit that I would like to sing a song for God today but too bad I have colds and sore throat, I couldn’t sing. hahaha… It’s true but I think God allowed me to give a testimony instead of singing because there is a tendency that I would go after the applause of the people  and not give glory to His name. Perhaps, God allowed the colds and sore throat for a purpose. hahaha..

For all the birthdays that I had, this one is the memorable one. Not only because I am getting older but because I was able to do one thing for God that he’s been asking me to do and that even though, at some point I’ve become very disobedient to Him, he still showed me His love and mercy.

I may not have someone special now beside me to celebrate this day that the Lord has made for me, I have my family, friends and of course my God, my Jesus, my Savior and to Him, I give back all the glory and thanksgiving.

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