Trying To Write ( A Rant)

4 Nov

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So its been awhile once again. I haven’t been updating my blog. I have no valid excuse but I was just plain lazy and not keeping my word about my commitment to write every day, even just in my journal. I guess I wasn’t that committed at all. I am distracted with a lot of things – watching tv and movies, reading things on the net but not finishing my books, facebooking, and thinking too much. Well, but if writing means saving thoughts as drafts on my phone and ipad, then maybe, yes I am still writing. But if it means a finish product, publishing it in my blog or submitting it to whoever I am obligated to submit, then I failed at that. I am just so undisciplined now not only with writing but with a lot of things. Now I am trying to write, hopefully. I will finish this and maybe I will feel inspired again.

I don’t know what I am doing with my life to be honest. While others are doing something, I feel like I am living in a routine. Work – home – church – meet friends or family from time to time – go to bookstores and my fave coffee shop. My uneventful life. (Well at least there’s football, it makes me happy somehow.) And gosh, it is already December in less than a month and seriously, where has my 2012 gone? I feel like nothing so significant happened yet and it’s already year-end?

There are things I’d like to do. I made a list of some “short and long term goals, if you can call them that, however I wasn’t so sure if those are really what I want. I am confused. Gosh, am I not too old to be still confused of what I want?

I do not feel inspired anymore. I lost my focus. I lost it when things didn’t turn out as I wish it would. So I tend to live with not a clear aim in my head about where I want to be and what I want to be. And I feel like too mainstream! Too mainstream and I do not like it! This isn’t me and this isn’t what I wanted.

I need a break. I need time to figure things out. I need to do something about this.

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4 Responses to “Trying To Write ( A Rant)”

  1. nepaliaustralian November 7, 2012 at 9:16 am #

    When I am lost, I write a list and it works for me. Work through your list and tick it off when it is done, you will feel better 🙂

    • Y November 7, 2012 at 10:52 pm #

      Thanks M for the advice. I still make a list of what I want and need to do and it’s true I feel good after I crossed them out from the list. But like I said, sometimes I dont know if those are really what I want to do… *sighs* It’s an issue I have to deal.

  2. Addie November 8, 2012 at 6:12 pm #

    Pray.

    I hope you don’t find that customary.

    Hugs.

    • Y November 10, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

      Thanks Addie! Yes, pray, that’s the best advice. I will be fine. 🙂

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