Archive | August, 2013

Impractical But Beautiful

9 Aug

It is hard when the reserved but restless, imaginative, creative, impractical, daring you, meet someone rather more daring, rebellious, break-all-the-rules, carefree kind of person, and you fell in love. The romantic, the against-all-odds spirit in you is loving every bits of it, it is exactly what you want to have, who you want to be with. You have come alive. You found meaning. You are happy. Years later, he suddenly became worried, cautious, and practical. Suddenly, ‘there is no future’ as he puts it. It is impossible now. Not in this lifetime. He is being ‘safe’, scared perhaps, maybe even torn in between choosing to please his heart or others. But he gave up on himself. He gave up on you. And you, you still think it is worth it and there is no other way you’ll have love other than this. For you it is never impractical, it is actually beautiful – that supposed story of two people of different backgrounds and ideals and cultures, yet choose the hard but beautiful way of telling the world, that even in this circumstance, LOVE is possible.

– Written on June 26, 2013

I Can’t Write

5 Aug

I cannot write. Things happening around me lately are just so intense that it overwhelms me. This is just an attempt to maybe release the tension in my head and in my heart.

My heart is broken again. Sadly because of the same person who broke my heart a countless times.

M.

The only difference this is time, is that this is probably the last time he will break it.

I will see him in less than 2 weeks. I will fly to where he is and see him for the first and last time.

In less than 2 weeks.

After almost 9 years.

After everything we’ve been through.

I feel scared. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. It makes it feel like I’m waiting for my death sentence or death itself.

I cant just write.

I don’t know if I would still write.

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