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Work, New Tasks and Office Politics.

28 Nov

There is so much on my plate these days. Work just simply eats almost my entire 24 hours. I can’t even seem to squeeze personal stuff. Urgh! This is too much!

The pressure is on me, right on top of my head. The pressure coming from the work colleagues, my former manager who won’t get out of my insy-winsy tail, as if I still work under him, and of course the pressure coming for the higher peeps in my organization.

I was not promoted but I was given a lot of new responsibilities now,  including a weekly report that I need to prepare and present in front of the executives and the big boss.

Talk about pressure.

The recent movement in our organization has brought me some good stuff and some not so good ones. I will explain ’em.

My team and I was transferred to a new department and I now directly report to the big boss but it has a pros and cons. I’ll start with the pros…

This is is not in order but I will start with the having a direct access to the boss and getting my presence felt in our organization, not just some sort of a “ghost” employee where you are not even being noticed at all. Then next is the opportunity to learn new things. Rubbing elbows with the executives every week, though most of the time, it’s all about reporting how your department is going, and some praising and bashing as well, I am seeing the weekly board meeting as my chance to learn from these higher people in our company. The way they run the company, their brilliant ideas, how they handle issues and a lot of things, just simply listening to ’em as they praise or bash you, you’ll learn. That I’d say is one of the great things I am getting out of this. Next would be the privilege to be able to call the shots for whatever I want to do with my team, of course that comes with the “ownership” , whether I do good or mess up, I own it so I got to be really wise about my decisions.

Now the not so good ones… first the pressure I am getting. They expect so much from me now. At times I am just too overwhelmed about the fact that I am doing this. It is a blessing that I get this privilege, but at times a cloud is in front of you blocking your good view.

Let me explain…

Sometimes because of the pressure I think about just backing out, I doubt myself, whether I can do it or not, whether I can meet or even exceed their expectations from me or will I be judged as an incompetent worker, not worthy of the position I am on right now. It scares me. I don’t want to fall short of what I am expected to do but I am being pushed outside of the “box” and I don’t know if I can “survive” as I leave my comfort zone.   Second, with all the demands this position I have, I think I am not well-compensated. Admit it, we all need money. And while I admit that the money I am receiving now is far from what I was receiving from my previous job, however, with me doing and thinking of the work almost 24/7 leaving me with no time at all for myself, I believe I am worthy to receive a pay rise to compensate at least for losing “my life”.

But nada! Nothing at all.

Next, my former supervisor, who like I said won’t get out of my insy-winsy tail. I was working under him for more than 6 months already when the big boss decided that I be moved to a new department and report directly to him. But this former manager still thinks that I still have to report to him and inform him of everything I do with my team and my department. He “checks” on me from time to time, ask for reports that I am not supposed to submit to him anymore, etc.. and when I told him that I was told to directly send the reports to the right people, he said to still cc: him on the email.

What the heck! Does he really need to know everything I do? As far as I am told, I have no more supervisor but everything is directly reported to the big boss. What is his problem now? Why can’t he let me go? While I still give him the things I need to submit to him but the other things he shouldn’t be concerned of, he should back off. He still want “documents” signed by him, after I sign it. Geez!!! What is wrong with him? Trying to control me? What is he scared of?

I can only see it in two ways, one is that he just can’t let me go because he thinks he lost someone important from his department or that he is threatened or don’t want me to get “promoted” or get the same stuff he gets from having the “direct access”? What is that? An ego problem? Oh man, he is seriously annoying me now. While I respect him as my former supervisor, I hope he realizes the fact that I am no longer working under him and that he should know where to stand. I don’t want him or anyone to think  that since I get this privilege, it has gone to my head. Or that I am being too proud now and doesn’t look back to where I was, which is not true at all. Never. Things are just different now from six months ago, I am given more tasks and I just have to do it right. And I just can’t compromise. What I am expected to do, I will do with God’s help and guidance. But the values and beliefs I have will remain. I’m not going to compromise them just for the sake of protecting someone in my organization. While “politics” exist in every organization, I don’t want to be part of it.

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Am I Workhalic?

14 Nov

workaholicI am not workaholic. Never.

But today I worked for more than 12 hours. To be exact, 17 hours. Wow! Yeah Wow! and despite having a long day at work, I am still here blogging instead of getting some sleep. Hurray!!!!

I work in a BPO company and my work schedule is at night. It starts 9pm, supposed to end at 6am but ever since I started this job I could just count the few times when I didn’t work overtime.  So today, I went home at about 2pm…which is so far the worst “overtime” work I ever did. I don’t know if this is still “healthy”  figuratively speaking. It consumes me too much and leaves me less time, actually no time for myself and other things. My life evolves so much in my work. It is actually just work, eat and sleep and work, eat and sleep, and work, eat and sleep. A routine now. I actually don’t have a “life” now.

Okay, before I rant and write more about this. I will get some sleep. I need to. I can’t abuse myself anymore. It might backfire. Plus I still need to be at the office tonight.

Am I workhalic? I don’t think so. I just have no choice for now.

A Halloween Party Pooper!

31 Oct

Yes, ND  said I’m a party pooper.  That’s after me telling him about the Halloween party at work that I didn’t participate in, at least in wearing costume.  But I wore a black shirt. Ain’t it enough?

We have a Halloween celebration at the office but none from our department dressed up for it nor we have the Halloween decoration on our work stations. So I guess we are all a party poopers!

But I don’t care at all. While others from my department didn’t participate in wearing creepy costumes, might be because they just don’t feel like it or that they have other reasons, my own reason is because we don’t really celebrate it or I personally don’t at all believe in celebrating it. Why? I have reasons.

First, being a Christian, I don’t think I should. And I don’t think I should still elaborate on that.

Second, it’s not too “Filipino”.  It’s just too “American” for me.  While I don’t have anything against Americans celebrating them, dressing up in scary costumes or something… it’s just not actually the culture in the Philippines.  While it is also a holiday in the Philippines on this day, well, Nov. 1 actually, it’s not for Halloween, instead it’s called All Saint’s Day and the day after it, Nov 2, is All Souls Day.

Although growing up, I never had heard or seen anyone honoring the “saint’s” during Nov. 1, it is mostly spent going to hometowns and visiting relatives and the grave of the dead loved ones that stretches until Nov 2. It is when they offer flowers and lit candles, and for Chinese-Filipinos, it is also about offering food. However, growing up in  a Christian family, we didn’t really visit graves on the dates mentioned and offer prayers and candles at the same time because we believe that we can visit them anytime in a year, lit candles and that’s it.

About praying for them, I don’t think so. They are already dead. I mean, the main reason most Catholics believe that they should pray for the dead love ones is because they believe in purgatory (which Christians like me don’t) and that their dead family member may be in that place so if they keep on praying for them, God will deliver them out from that place and send them to heaven. That’s the reason we don’t have to pray for them anymore. Because it’s either you go to hell or heaven and there is nothing you can do about it anymore once you are in any of that place.

We can also visit them on these dates but it’s not just because of the tradition.

Third reason. We are just too busy in our department. We have a lot of workloads at the moment and it can’t be delayed.  Yes it may sound too corny but that’s exactly what happened. Others are interested to have something, but none of us have the time to decorate and I guess some of them as just not interested at all for some reasons. But even if I have the time, I won’t. Others, if they want to, I won’t mind it at all.

So I don’t care if I am called a party pooper or what, as long as I don’t compromise my beliefs and hold on to my conviction no matter which environment I am in.

Of Annoying Work Colleagues

25 Sep

While last week I was all high-spirited, very optimistic and inspired. This week, I am/was the opposite. I’ve encountered some challenges at work lately. Some of them are colleagues in the same department but most of them are people under me- my team members. Oh I don’t know but if they intend to really annoy me, then I’d say that yes they were successful with it. I am so annoyed. I am just pissed off!

This all started when 3 of them filed a resignation all at the same time. Ever since they did, they have become such a burden to me. Maybe not all 3, but 2 of them. Their complaints about company policies, workload assignments, their being not dependable anymore at work, etc… and yeah, the attitude problem, how can I forget that.

While during my first few weeks and months, upon meeting, let’s just call her, Employee A, I thought she doesn’t just have a pretty face but she has a nice attitude. The other however, though doesn’t posses the friendly face but was nice enough too, that’s employee B. Employee C, although my first impression was that she’s cool but probably too cool that I might be having problems dealing with her turn out to be a nice one. But knowing they are all friends, I don’t know exactly what she’s like when they are together, what they say about work, or me or anything.

The comes Employee D.. who lately have become a total complainer! She just complains about everything, just about everything… I could probably relate it to her condition now, perhaps she is having mood swings as she is expecting a baby soon. Maybe that’s how pregnant women are like? I don’t know. I haven’t been pregnant. But hearing her complains everyday about work and what’s happening in the company just makes her get inside my nerves! She’s just so negative. Everything she hears, she gets affected and spreads the negativity. I hate it. Plus, she probably thought she’s that good already. While I admit that she works good, but demanding for something when you really haven’t proven anything yet, not to mention not being regularized yet is something that annoys me. She even said upon learning that the company offers a slightly higher pay for those who will be hired as new team members than the ones who were already hired, that she will just probably resign and then re-apply for the post, then maybe they’d offer her the same. I don’t know if she was kidding or not but whether it was a joke or she really meant that, I will not accept her for the job again. Why? Because I know now her attitude.

Then here comes Employee E… okay… this one I have a lot to say. She is a B….!!!! Don’t make me mention that word oh please. I know I am being nasty but she’s always been a burden to me. Yes, at first I thought she was just a snob, then I thought okay, maybe it’s her personality, not too friendly at all.. but no… while she talks to everyone, she ignores me, deliberately. She has this “attitude” where she feels like she’s the QUEEN BEE! Yes, she have been in the company for a year already and has a potential to lead a team, she can really influence people (I guess in a wrong way) but she lacks the heart and the brain.

Okay, I’m being nasty by saying that.

But yeah, she feels like she can always get away with anything. She feels everyone must bow down to her.  I could mention a lot of things but I think to make it short, she’s envious of me and my position.

Am I just hallucinating? No, I think it’s a fact. On the day I signed the job offer contract, I was informed by an HR officer that I might be wondering why they hired me instead of just promoting someone who’s already there and very knowledgeable about the tasks. She said the reason is because none of them passed the qualification.

While I am not saying this to glorify myself here, I just wanted to say this statement in support for employee E being jealous of me having the position. She probably thought she will be promoted or offered the role but unfortunately she was short of skills and brain. What does she knows? Make up? New Cellphones? The latest trend? Everything pink and girly? Duh!!!! I wanted to tell her, there is more to life than the latest in fashion and gadgets! And I think she thought she is so good she can’t be replaced. She is doing good in her work I admit but she has to realize that being a bitch won’t take her anywhere. At the end of the day, I’m still the one in command and in control and she can’t do anything about it. If she has problem with it, then she might as well just file her resignation and I’d so happy to accept it, sign it and endorse it immediately to the HR.

And Yes, I can be so nasty like that. I just don’t like her at all.

I probably won’t have problems even we aren’t friends at work, but what I actually don’t like is her attitude. And who knows what she says about me. Like I said she influences people there, especially with her negativity. Who told employee D about the ad that we have in one of the job portals that new hires are being offered quite a higher salary than them? She did.

A few weeks ago I was told she is resigning and she plans on doing it by the end of the September. My ears were clapping upon hearing it! Yes! Music to the ears!!!! What a pleasant news! However, it’s almost the end of September now and she still hasn’t filed her resignation letter and I am getting impatient. I just hope she didn’t back out or changed her mind. Just thinking I’d still have to deal with her til the end of the year or worst until next year, stresses me. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

I know I am being really nasty writing all these and even praying that they resign. But really I have always been praying to God about the people at my work who are giving me burdens and headaches, that God will do something about them. Perhaps, make them quit. I know it’s going to be an added tasks for me to train new hires but I think I’d rather have these newbies who aren’t negative, willing to be trained, and no attitude or tenure problems. It’s going to be tough I know that it’ll require so much from me but I think it’s better than I will have to deal with them for a long time.

They Quit And They Are Becoming A Headache.

8 Sep

Yes, my initial reaction was sad. I was kind of depressed, not really, but well, yeah it has affected me. Okay, I am talking about the recent happenings in my workplace. The abrupt resignation not to mention, a massive one, well not really, or maybe yeah, since out of 5 members, 3 of them just quit. Don’t make me mention about the other resignations from the other teams in our department and the others that’s going to happen in the future.

Sad was my initial reaction, yes because first I didn’t expect them to do it that soon, much more doing it all at the same time. Second was, I admit that they are good team members, well, they used to be, not until recently when they are turning into some sort of pain in the ass. Really they are! And I’m quite pissed!

Are resignation letters really meant to be written with lies? I mean, why say, “I’m thankful for the opportunity and all that the company has provided me with… grateful for the whatever it is…etc…etc…” and the “I am willing to help or something for the smooth transition..etc… ” when you are becoming such as ass on your remaining days? I thought you say, you’ll help with the smooth transition, whatever!

I am just so angry at that.  While I don’t want to glorify myself, but I’ve already worked for different firms and submitted more than a couple of resignations, but I was never a headache to them during my last few days. What I wrote in my resignation letters were all true. Even when I had some horrible experiences with one of the companies I’ve worked for, still I remained professional. But I didn’t have to put that “I regret leaving them..etc”… because I don’t talk bullshit to anyone. I believe that if you are leaving the company, and you happened to be in bad terms with some people from the management, I think it is better not to write any lies on your resignation letter, like being sad about leaving and all that.. if that’s the case, better state that you simply are just leaving and wanted a career change. You don’t even have to explain things on the letter. While I know that you must keep the letter positive as it will be kept on your 201 file, which could be dig up later if there is a need for it, still writing hoax on your letter just to please your immediate supervisor, or any HR officer reading it isn’t really a good idea. I think it’s better to be true than be “plastic!” Get real. While you don’t want to burn the bridge, you also don’t want to write lies on your resignation letter while in your mind, you even vomit writing them.

I am just pissed off. Well I was. Hopefully for the remaining 3 weeks, they will not give me anymore headaches.

Resignations and Low Morale…

3 Sep

What would you do when you received three (yes freaking 3!) resignation letters all in one day? Not to mention, getting it at the start of shift!

Man! I am just so not in peace right now.  I couldn’t work well. I am so much bothered. I am wondering what is going on. Just barely 2-3 weeks ago, we had to layoff some staff and unfortunately 3 of them are my team members. I used to have 8 members, downsized to 5 when ‘they’ decided to layoff when the clients asked for it.  I was torn. While the 2 of them were new hires, working for barely 2-3 months I think, the other one has been here for quite some time, more than a year and is performing well, yet was decided to be part of the people that we had to let go.  That person was never a headache to me and to the team, both work and attitude wise. So, I was really bothered when I found out about the management’s decision. I even questioned them, asked if we still could do something. I wasn’t at peace when I’ve learned about it. I couldn’t sleep.

And now, 3 resignation letters on my desk.

What do I do with this? I know I will need to talk to them and ask them personally about their decisions. Although I am getting hints or just having some guesses and assumptions of what could be the reasons of them wanting to quit from their jobs.  I know it is related to the layoff that happened a few weeks back because one of those who were relieved from work happens to be one of their friends at work. I knew they were hurt badly. As their team leader, it was painful too being in the situation. You are just in the middle, in between the management and the workforce. And it’s simply not easy.

I will talk to them definitely. While I know some of the questions I want to ask them, I still feel lost of words. Three resignation letters all in one day is serious. While I admit that I am concerned that this will reflect my own performance, especially that my evaluation will be up soon ( yeah, very good timing isn’t!?), I am more concerned of why they all three decided to do it all at the same time.

For me, it’s more of a protest on their part. While their letters shows gratitude for giving them the opportunity to be part of the company, I know and I feel that there is more than that. The problem didn’t just start on the day some staff were relieved, it actually just triggered them more or gave them the concrete reason for doing so. The problem started way before I joined the company. I’ve been hearing a lot since my first few weeks in here.

It is just sad. They are my performers. I admit, it’s going to wreck my own performance, and so the team’s.  This is devastating.

Quit or Stay (another hormonal attack?)

26 Aug

This is one of those days, one of the moments I want to quit from my job. This is just one of those days when I feel uninspired … tired of the rat race. This is just one of those days, I want to get out and go away. This is one of those moments, that I wish I never entered myself into this, so probably I’d be happier, I’d be more satisfied.

But so far, I don’t have a choice but to stay. Plan B didn’t push through, might as well stick to PLAN A for a while now, but soon I will have to revised PLAN B or have PLAN C, D, E…up to Z…whatever! All I want now is to get out from here.

Not a good sign, isn’t it? Yeah because I am here for just barely what, 4 months? not too long yet and I feel as early as now this uneasiness and the feeling that you don’t belong and the need to get out. Bad sign.

Lord, why do I feel this way again? or is this my hormones again talking? sigh…

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