Tag Archives: broken heart

Bomb

30 Jun

Two years ago today, you dropped the ‘bomb’ that shattered my heart and soul.

And I died.

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One Year Ago – Bangalore Palace

21 Aug
One year ago today...

One year ago today…

Loneliness and Alcohol

30 Mar

The sound of television creeping through the halls
Left in the wild like a tree pulled from the dirt
You fill the sky with burning arrows from your heart
Throw your bottles out to sea and watch them float away

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
You bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol

Hide your diamonds in the dirt in careful rows
Let your doubt unravel all their, all their pretty bows
‘Cause your heart is broken by the things you love
And your light, it carries but it’s not enough to change the weather

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
Bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol

You get buried under all these lines, all this light, all these lies
You get buried under all these lines, all this light, all the time

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
Bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol

Tell me of the world you’re leaving
While you’re swinging like a wrecking ball
Bury all your love in secrets
And loneliness in alcohol

– Jars of Clay | Inland

30 Mar

It has been 6 months…
And I haven’t forgotten
No.
And I don’t know how to forget
Or if I will ever forget
It still feels like yesterday
Fresh in my memory
Every moment, every hour, every minute spent
My heart still hopes
And I don’t know why it still fucking do
I should have given up
I shouldn’t hope for anything
What a fool I am
This song playing
Takes me to the time
The wounds become fresh
The hurts, the pain becomes real once more
Why do I still think about you?
Why do I still hope that you’d come back?
I’m supposed to hate you
I’m supposed to move on
To let go
I wish there was a way to prevent it all from happening
If there was, I would do it
I just can’t stand this pain no longer
Why didn’t I give up?
Why didn’t I just stop long time ago?
Why did I let it come to this,
When my back is already against the wall?
When I am already too involved?
I should have given up one month after we’ve met
When you worried me so much after you stop talking for the first time
I should have stopped in that moment
So I won’t be in this situation
So I won’t be writing this…
Me and my foolish heart
I believed too much
I let my guard down
And let you in
It was already too deep
There was no way out without getting burn
Now, the core of my being was smashed
Everything I believed in,
Everything I hoped for
It’s all gone. All gone.
Everything I thought I was
Everything I thought was the truth
Were washed away
And replaced by cynicism
And the culture and the country I fell in love with
Backfired
I now despised everything that has to do with it
The optimist and the defender of prejudice I was
No longer exist
I am wrecked.
My whole being was shaken
I am not this.
This isn’t me.
But I don’t know how to get back to who I was.

Hurting

5 Sep

I want to write and pour out my heart, but I don’t know where to start. All I know right now, at this very moment, is that I am hurting so much. The pain is just too much to bear. Why do I have to go through this pain? This is just too much for me.

Please come back. Please baby please.

I can’t take another day without you.

Impractical But Beautiful

9 Aug

It is hard when the reserved but restless, imaginative, creative, impractical, daring you, meet someone rather more daring, rebellious, break-all-the-rules, carefree kind of person, and you fell in love. The romantic, the against-all-odds spirit in you is loving every bits of it, it is exactly what you want to have, who you want to be with. You have come alive. You found meaning. You are happy. Years later, he suddenly became worried, cautious, and practical. Suddenly, ‘there is no future’ as he puts it. It is impossible now. Not in this lifetime. He is being ‘safe’, scared perhaps, maybe even torn in between choosing to please his heart or others. But he gave up on himself. He gave up on you. And you, you still think it is worth it and there is no other way you’ll have love other than this. For you it is never impractical, it is actually beautiful – that supposed story of two people of different backgrounds and ideals and cultures, yet choose the hard but beautiful way of telling the world, that even in this circumstance, LOVE is possible.

– Written on June 26, 2013

I Can’t Write

5 Aug

I cannot write. Things happening around me lately are just so intense that it overwhelms me. This is just an attempt to maybe release the tension in my head and in my heart.

My heart is broken again. Sadly because of the same person who broke my heart a countless times.

M.

The only difference this is time, is that this is probably the last time he will break it.

I will see him in less than 2 weeks. I will fly to where he is and see him for the first and last time.

In less than 2 weeks.

After almost 9 years.

After everything we’ve been through.

I feel scared. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. It makes it feel like I’m waiting for my death sentence or death itself.

I cant just write.

I don’t know if I would still write.

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