Tag Archives: marriage

I am not supposed to be in Manila right now. I should be in India.

5 Feb

Well, I should be In Mumbai or Allahabad right now.

Tomorrow is my friend’s wedding in India. He told me about his big day about 6 months ago and invited me to be there as he wed his lovely bride. He said that he had to inform me earlier so that I can book flights, file for at least 2-week leave from work and save so I can be there on his special day. I know 6 months is still a short notice, considering I live in the South East, and fare is already a little expensive. But actually, he’s been inviting me to his wedding even before he got engaged. Actually years, before he got engaged.

Mehendi

Mehendi

He even sent me an invitation through email and I got overly excited seeing the colorful invitation that contains some of their photos, and info of the different ceremonies prior to the wedding (Mehendi, Sangeet, Haldi) the wedding itself and the two wedding receptions in Mumbai and Allahabad. It’s a week-long celebration! No wonder he asked me to take a 2-week off from work. He said, 1 week for his wedding and another if I want to tour in some parts of India.

Sangeet

Sangeet

Of course I said Yes, with the intention of really coming over to the wedding. But months before today, I thought hard about it and after much contemplation, I decided that I had to miss it. *sighs*

There are reasons.

Now, I feel bad about it. I should be there! I can’t believe I let an opportunity to witness something wonderful, go away. I have never been to India and never been to a Hindu or any Indian wedding. I’ve only seen them in movies and I thought that attending a wedding is a great way to experience a culture, especially if it’s something different from what I am used to.

Haldi

Haldi

I always wanted to visit India. I thought that they have a rich culture and tradition that I find so fascinating. And attending one of their celebrated life events – a wedding, is a great way to immerse into their culture.

In my bucket list, I included there attending an Indian wedding. I would have crossed it by now. Sure, I can still cross it from the list someday. I could attend another Indian wedding but I guess it won’t be as special as the wedding tomorrow, because it is not my friend’s anymore.

Sad.

The Wedding Ceremony

The Wedding Ceremony

Anyway, even if I am not there to physically witness their union and celebrate with them as they start their lives together, my heart and thoughts are with them. I wish them more blessings and God’s love to bind them together, forever.

Advertisements

Best Wishes

23 Feb

(This was supposed to be posted last Feb 11 but I forgot that I saved it in the draft.)

Cheers F! (photo c/o google images)

Best wishes to one of my best friends, F who married the woman he loves last Feb 11, 2012. I may not be there to witness their exchange of vows and to extend my best wishes to the couple, but I rejoice for their union as husband and wife. Things may not be the same anymore after that wedding (F will be spending less time with me and his other friends, and that is sad 😦 ) but I guess that’s how life goes.

May our good Lord bless F and his new bride as they start their lives together.  *hugs* Cheers F!

(P.S. I haven’t received the invitation that you sent 3 weeks ago. I hope it didn’t get lost. )

My Baby Sister as the Beautiful Bride

30 Nov

Before I narrate about my KL Trip, I would like to write first about my baby sister’s wedding last weekend.

Yes my youngest sister got married last November 26, 2011. It’s been a few days already but I can’t still believe that she already tied the knot with her boyfriend of 5 years. I admit that I didn’t approve their relationship at the start. I didn’t like him for my sister. No, he is not a bad guy. There are a few reasons. One would be, my sisters and I are very close and I think I was threatened that someone would interfere with our closeness and that things will be no longer the same. Our eldest sister is already married but I had no problems with her husband at all even when he was still a boyfriend. I think because he got a charming personality and made an effort to get close to all of us including our relatives so welcoming him to our family wasn’t a problem at all.  But in my youngest sister’s case, it was different.  Another would be, I, being an older sister, am very protective of her. I think it is natural that an older sibling gets very protective over the younger ones especially if they tend to be very dependent on you. And she sometimes have a tendency to be  gullible too. I know my sister, how she thinks, how she reacts…what makes her mad or sad…almost everything. She is our ‘bunso’ (youngest). I grew up looking after her all the time. She’d go to me when she runs out of money at school and calls me to pick her up from her university when she’s feeling tired or dizzy.

I always want the best for her. We all do in the family, since s.he’s the youngest. We want her to get the best education, a good and comfortable life, and to have the best husband. I guess I forgot that my sister is no longer that kid I always look after to. She’s all grown up and now capable of making decisions on her own. I guess the ‘Ate’ (big sister) needs to go back to the backseat and let her take wheel.

Anyway, I’m glad things were ironed out before they got married. Her fiancé made an effort to set up a lunch date with my family so we could all talk. It turned out well. Now both my sisters are married, I am the only one left. And people around me are bugging when’s my turn. I forgot, I was supposed to to have a custom-made shirt that says “The next person who will ask me when I’ll get married will get a punch in the face!” and wear it on the wedding day. LOL.

Well, best wishes to my baby sister and my new bro-in-law. It is my prayer that they have a wonderful life together as they start a family.

But my sister, no matter how old she will be, will always be my baby sister. I love you bunso!

My baby sister and bro-in-law, looking very happy on their wedding day, even the photographers can't help but feel the love. 🙂

It’s Time To Write (Updates)

26 Apr

It’s been a while and I miss doing this.

I know I was busy with a lot of things, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to completely ignore my first love – to write.  It’s my outlet afterall.  I think this is the reason why I feel down and depress these days because I don’t get to sit down, think and pour out my thoughts. I feel like it’s suppressed. With all the events and happenings – the church activities and all, at the same time the company’s, I feel so not in touch with myself. I don’t get the time to reflect anymore. So this is the right time…

So what’s been going on? Let me list it randomly:

-The most recent – the Philippine holidays. Yes! There was a 2-day holiday last week due to Easter and I can’t help but mention, that after maybe 7 years, I only get to enjoy my country’s own holidays now. That’s what I get for working for BPOs for quite a long time. Although too bad, most holidays this year falls on a Sunday and P-noy made the business owners happy this year when he lifted the Presidential decree or whatever you call it about moving holidays to either Monday or Friday. No more long weekend for us. 😦

– The company I am working for…  so far so good. I think I’m enjoying right now and liking what I’m doing. We had a company outing a few weeks ago, where we had some Pinoy games. It was fun especially when you used to play them when you were young, it’s so nostalgic!

– M. We talked a few weeks ago, didn’t turn out quite well but still I was happy I got to talk to him. I called. He did mention about missing me and wanting to talk to me everyday. But it still ended not quite well with him telling me, that although he wants to talk to me everyday, he is controlling that urge so that we won’t run again on circles again. *Sighs* I miss him really. Very and it’s so hard to breathe now. 😦

– My youngest sister getting married. I think aside from the unfavorable situation I have with my relationship with M, this is one of the things that occupies me too much these days. I have to admit, I do not like the guy she is marrying. And I have my reasons.  But then again, it’s not my decision and my choice. I have to respect my sister’s. She’s old enough now. But the sad thing is, the influence that guy has on her wasn’t good… I felt like I’ve lost a sister ever since they got into a relationship.And now that they are planning to get married this year, I fear that that I will completely lose her and she will be so far away from us. I know I also have done wrong things, especially for not accepting that guy. But he still hasn’t done anything to prove his worth. He still hasn’t done any effort to reconcile. And he can’t even do it for my sister’s sake?  I don’t know what to think… I know I have my faults too but it’s not mine entirely. I know it will never be the same again in our family after their marriage. It will be just mom, dad and me in the house. Although I still have my parents and I know they love me,  I feel so alone sometimes. And I feel like I’m an orphan, especially that I don’t have M beside me. I think if he was just with me, I won’t feel like this. *Sighs*

– One of my best friends is on vacation for 2 weeks with his family. I am happy for him because he gets to enjoy with his family and rest. But I feel sad because there’s no one to talk to. No M, no sister, no best friend. What else could go wrong? *Sighs* Plus, before he left, we talked and it didn’t turn out quite good. But I hope to talk to him when he gets back. Hope and pray they will get back safe and sound.

– Migration. I don’t remember the last time I thought about moving to another country but I remember it started way way back and I applied if I will qualify to move to Canada. I was young that time and I barely have experience in life and I don’t have savings. Now that I’m older (and wiser), the Migration plan resurrected. I don’t know where yet but I’m eyeing SG or some European country, maybe Canada again, I don’t know yet but I’d like to prepare for that soon.

I guess that’s it for now. It really helps that I put these into writing because it’s been plaguing my mind. I know most of the updates are sad. But what can I do?

Oh yeah, this one last is a good one. I’m reading again… and I’m trying to finish the book Dug Down Deep. So far so good. I’m reading every morning, on the way to work. I wont let the bad things happening and my busyness interfere with my reading. It’s good news isn’t?

Okay, till next post!

I am pregnant

16 Mar

I am pregnant.

Okay, I’m not.  Aside from the fact that I am not married yet, I don’t even have a bf.  So it’s quite impossible for that to happen. I’m not even seeing anyone.

Oh well, I just wonder how it would feel to say those words and how my family and friends would react to it. But of course, that depends on which scenario I am in. So far I could think of only two major scenarios (with sub scenarios).

Scenario 1: THE IDEAL

I get married to the most beautiful man in the world and the only one for me.  Close family and friends on our wedding day, honeymoon in a lovely beach in Asia or some romantic city in Europe, then after a few weeks, tada! Honeymoon baby in my tummy! LOL.  Then I announce it to my husband first of course, and he cries the tears of joy (or maybe cries for the impending cost of child birth and child-rearing. lol). Then to my dad and mom. I’m sure they will be so happy especially dad who’s been asking me a lot of times to get married because he wants to see his grandchildren. And to my close friends too who will sure celebrate with me and even organize a baby shower. They will treat me extra special to make sure the baby-on-the way is being taken care of in the best possible way. In short, everyone’s excited and happy.

So ideal right?

Here’s comes…

Scenario 2: THE HEART-WRENCHING

There are actually sub scenarios:

A – I have a bf and I get pregnant.

B – I don’t have a bf and I get pregnant.

A – I won’t get into details how things happen but it already have.  I just stare into that two pink lines in my pregnancy kit. I tell the bf. (Possible scenarios: He’ll stay and stick with me and help me face my parents and the world. Or get scared and ran away and be the certified a-hole.) Then depending on the bf’s reaction, I go to my parents, nervous and teary-eyed perhaps and humbled. I know if this happens, I won’t be treated like a teenager – ‘You’re not going to see that guy again!’ or whatever it is… I am old enough to face the consequences of my action but still, I know it’s heart-wrenching for any parents.  Then I tell it to my sisters and knowing them, it’s either they obviously show their support through words and actions or just act as if things are ‘normal’ and still show support in the way they know. I then tell it to my best friends and some closest friends. Best friends might cry or get angry or nag. They have the right, I can’t argue with them. Other friends would sure just accept and support, after all it’s already there and they can’t do anything. To make it short, they all support me but they are somehow heart-broken in the inside. All of them and so am I.

B – Okay, this one has a lil twist. How it happen is not important anymore. But in this case, I’ll be all alone except for the time ‘it’ happen. Come on, how can I get pregnant alone? Immaculate conception? LOL. Of course, there’s a dad but he’s not a bf. So I have to do it alone – tell the parents the shocking news that can be compared to the atomic bomb that destroyed a city in Japan eons ago. Ouch. At least in scenario A, there is a 50-50 chance of having the support of the  the bf, but here… Nada! Telling the parents would be the toughest I think. Mom and Dad would feel bad, that’s for sure, but the thought that I’d still be ‘alone’ or a single a parent will sure worry them.  Best friends would react the same way in scenario A and so are the other friends. The ending is the same too. We all feel bad. Btw, telling it to the guy is my choice but maybe I will. Most likely.

Oh yeah, I didn’t mention the religious affiliation of my family because I think, generally parents and friends would react the same way, no matter which religious background they are from. I have a strong Christian background and I know it is against our belief that you do it before marriage. However, I am human and I am weak too and I sin. I’m not perfect but I always want to do the right thing. I bet nobody wants to break the hearts of their loved ones.

I want that when I tell them “I am pregnant”, everyone in the world rejoices with me and so my God up there. 🙂

I just haven’t met you yet – By Michael Buble

31 Oct

Today, I was able to chat to one of my friends from college through facebook. We have chatted a bit about what’s going on with each of our lives. She asked, “How’s your love life?” I laughed and answered, “I don’t know but it seems the love life doesn’t like me.LOL” and I said, “or maybe I just haven’t met him yet.” 🙂

I stumbled on this song from one blog on wordpress that posted something about women in 40s who still have hopes of getting married and not destined to be old maids. The article was good. Funny and interesting article. Nope. I’m not forty yet and that will take me more than a decade before I turn one, but I definitely can relate to the article and can use some of advices and tips given. 🙂

I am not ugly. Some says I am pretty. LOL (Or are they just being nice to me? LOL) But yeah I know I’m not ugly, but yeah, I need to work on my figure and get into shape. Oh well, but that’s another story to blog about. I haven’t really been in a ‘relationship’ in the real sense of the word. Well yes I have. But they were men I met online and dated only through the cyberspace (thanks to webcam and headset!). There are some men who had a crush on me (they said) and I also noticed some looking at me (perhaps, because I have a dirt on my face? lol). But I don’t know why I am still single until now. I’m not a snob. Not exactly. Kidding.  Well, yes  I am quite picky at times (okay most of the time) especially to the people I talk to, but I have reasons. One would be because I’m shy. I am generally shy. Second, I value privacy too much and I don’t open to everyone, only to those who I considered my closest and trusted friends but others equate this to me being a snob. I am not. I just don’t want the whole world to know about my private life. That’s one reason I didn’t join showbiz. lol. Some said, I have a very high standard when it comes to a partner. No. Not really. I just only have one requirement – He needs to have it all. hahaha…. kidding. Of course, I’m not hard to please, but really don’t make me talk to someone who only cares about his looks and the latest fashion and gadgets. I want BRAINS! (No, I don’t eat brains. lol) My friend said I’m demanding and high maintenance. Not true. But well I deserve the best. 🙂 Some said, men get intimidated with me, one reason is because I’m my mother’s daughter (Don’t ask what my mother do), another is my former job (so it’s a good thing I resigned? lol) I think some of these are the main factors, that I ended up having online relationship, particularly to people living overseas and people who are from different backgrounds. Maybe it be romantic or plain platonic relationship.

Well online romantic relationship, I know these days it is  not a new thing anymore and a lot have been into one or are currently in one. It is not easy. But I have to say, the feelings are real. You will really fall in love and will invest time and effort to make things work, just like any normal romantic relationship.

Like this man from India that I met back in 2004. For 6 years, (yes until the present) we’ve communicated and had an on and off relationship (it’s ‘off’ right now). It wasn’t easy for the two us. The distance that separate us makes it even more difficult, not to mention the fact that he is from a very conservative family who value their tradition and religion that much which is one of the many big hurdles we have faced (is still facing, maybe). Well apparently, their family and their religion/community won’t allow them to marry someone from another religion or even someone not from their hometown/state. We have so many plans. Well we used to. He was supposed to come here a few months ago and stay here to find a job and be with me, though the wedding plan was not part of it for the reason I have mentioned above. Everything was ready. His family who knows me only as his good friend, approved of his plans of moving here for a job. But then, unfortunately, his visa was denied. He was crushed. But I was more than crushed. There was also a time when I had a job offer in his country to be an English Teacher to Koreans staying there. They didn’t offer me that much, but at the time, I was willing to take everything just to be with him. However, for some reasons, he was confused and all that made me not accept the offer. For the 6 years we’ve spent our time chatting online, talking and sharing a lot of things, some were really intimate even, I could say that I really have loved him and still love him. And now, despite our situation (we’re not talking right now), I still feel the same way.  Last time we talked, when I cried so much telling me to just forget about me, he insisted that he can’t and he doesn’t want our communication to end. He said he’s saving up so that he could come here and meet me. Yes, just meet me but not to marry me. Yes, he said that too. (Ouch!) Oh well, I’m just being brave right now…well trying to be. Although, I still think about him,everyday, every minute, involuntarily, I’m trying not to get too affected or I’ll be sobbing all day. Every time I think of him, I just say a prayer. Sometimes, I can’t help but cry but sometimes, I just sigh over the things I have no control of. I just think that if he is for me, I don’t have to do anything anymore, God will make a way for us.

I’m 28 right now and still single. I met him at 22. Some of my friends told me I wasted my time waiting for him. He made me wait that long they said and I don’t even deserve it. Yes I know I deserve the best but honestly for the years we’ve spent together, although there were moments we’ve shed so many bucket of tears (yes, both us cried but I guess it’s more of me crying.), I have never felt so happy. Even the distance didn’t hinder us.

Right now, I’m still being very optimistic. I think I had enough of negative thoughts in my head. Worries will not help me. If he’s the one, then he is. If not, God will send me the better version of him. 🙂 Maybe, I just haven’t met him yet. But I hope to meet him soon. 🙂

Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble

I’m Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
Have Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stopped Keepin Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Now Someday That It’ll All Turn Out
You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

Mmmmm ….

I Might Have To Wait
I’ll Never Give Up
I Guess It’s Half Time
And The Other Half’s Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It’s Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Hmmmmm ……

And You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

They Say All’s Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won’t Need To Fight It
We’ll Get It By It ??
To Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Hmmm …..

And Someday I Know It’ll All Turn Out
And I’ll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I’ll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get han I Get

Oh You Know It Will All Turn Out
And You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love …..
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet
Love Love Love …..
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

FIREPROOF

7 Oct

I’m not sure if this movie will ever hit our local cinemas but whatever happens, I’m going to watch it. The trailer alone was so good, inspiring and touching. Here is the trailer:

I wish he would watch this movie too. Yes we aren’t married yet but I know this will help us in our relationship right now especially that we are in this stage of confusion and in search for answers.

*Their official site: http://fireproofthemovie.com/

%d bloggers like this: