Tag Archives: work

Of Football, Work, Reading, Writing and M

27 Jul

Right, I know I wrote in my last post dated June 23 that I will be writing that week and it didn’t happen. Reason? Hmmm… I don’t remember. hahaha… Well it’s busyness with a lot of things – work mostly and other things.

So, what have I been doing? Let me list as I remember:

1. Football – I’ve been watching a lot of football lately- both the international and local football, particularly the Azkals. Nope, I’m not into football just because of the hype the Philippine Azkals are getting. I’ve been into football for already a few years (thanks to my foreign students and my British best friend Idy for their influence). (See: 10 Significant Things of My 2010)

Well last month, Azkals played Ski Lanka during the first round of the qualifiers for WORLD CUP 2014. We finished with a beautiful 5-1 aggregate score (4-0 in the home game, oh sweet!) and it was our ticket to move to the next round and face Kuwait. Unfortunately though, we lost with 3-0 score during the away game last Sunday to Kuwait, but tomorrow we’ll make up for it.  Go Azkals!

2. Work – Been busy with work as usual. Sometimes I get too tired I wish it’s already 2013. Haha! 2013 because that is when my ‘bond’ with the company will expire and I can resign without paying them anything. Well so far so good, however sometimes they have too much activities that eats a lot of my time, leaving me no time for other things – such as this one, time to blog. Lately, it’s like I’ll just go home, have dinner, watch a little tv and sleep. Too tired to even think and write.

3. M – Yes we did talk last month. And I’m missing him again.  More on it later.

4. Content Writing – I also did a friend a favor when I wrote a content for his site. Last time I checked his site it’s still the old content he has, but he informed me that he’lll soon change it. Well, he actually asked me to write for him and said he’s going to pay, but I’m thinking of not charging him anything, after all he is a friend. I remember I wrote about their love story (he and his wife) that was read on their wedding day. And I remember he asked me the morning of the wedding itself! I crammed writing it but I am glad I was able to come up with a good story. Well after all, I witnessed how their love blossomed with him being my coworker and the wife as a trainee in our company back in 2004.  🙂

5. Reading – Yey! I’m about to finish the book Dug Down Deep by Joshua Harris. Hooray! I’m in the last 3 chapters and I can’t wait to finish it. I am writing about it very soon. I am learning so much from the book about my faith and my God. More about it soon. Also, I can’t wait to read my other books.

Okay, I think that’s it for now. I can’t think of others right now but will write as soon as I remember them. 🙂

My June 12

12 Jun

Okay for a change, I won’t write about my love life. LOL.

Right now, I am okay. Tomorrow, I don’t know. At least I am fine today and that is what is important.

I’m at work but just being bored. I’ve been siting here just reading stuff on the net. I have tasks to do but this “friday sickness” has infected me, haha that made me unproductive. I guess it’s because it’s holiday today. Oh well today, we are commemorating the 111th Independence Day of the Philippines from the Spanish rulers, but I am here at the office, working. Talk about “independence/freedom”.

I’m a corporate slave. huhuhuhu…. LOL.

So what happened today so far? Well, I have read Adolf Hitler‘s biography on answers.com. How I came to that was through reading Anne Frank‘s biography too as she is being featured on answers.com‘s homepage for being born on this day. I have learned a lot today about history. Like Hitler being a monorchid and having an Oedipus complex. Ewwwww… LOL. Then the “Secret Annex” or the Anne Frank’s house in the Netherlands. Then some Ghandhi stories and other Indian-related information.

Okay, stop there. I won’t mention anything anymore about India, it might just lead to some stories about my love life. LOL.

Okay, I went out from the office to take a break. I thought of spending it in my favorite Starbucks store in Bonifacio High Street, but to my disgrace, there are too many people swarming in and outside of the Mall, invading the Fort area. There was like a “diaspora” of people, leaving their homes and going to the Bonifacio High Street and Market! Market! Oh yeah, it’s holiday today, what would I expect? Filipinos are mall-loving people hehe.. and would rather spend their “holiday” in malls. Plus there is the “Ako Mismo” concert in the Fort Area so that explains why. I was invited though to go there at the launching of Ako Mismo campaign by my friend’s brother who is working for the organization, unfortunately I am stuck here at work until 9pm tonight, the same time the Ako Mismo event will end. Hmmp!

But that still didn’t ruin my day. And I hope and pray nothing will. Please Lord.

It’s a Friday so here at my office, it means, Videoke day! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! Every Friday is a videoke day! But I haven’t tried singing there yet eversince it was installed in our pantry last week. Hmmm…

Alright, I have an hour and a half left before I could go home. Home? Yeah I guess, I have nowhere to go tonight. No appointments. No ‘gimmicks’. No gig. So I’ll head home.  But which home? My place or my parents’? I am still not decided. I hope in an hour I will already have it figure out.

So, it’s weekend… what are my plans? So far, the only plan I have is to clean my place. That’s all. And maybe read some books? Or maybe watch some movies? I am not sure yet.

Weekends…now this reminds me of my good friend  Idy (as I fondly call him). He used to ask me what my weekend plans are and shares his. But it’s been more than half a year now since I heard from him. Sad. =( I miss my friend Idy. Hope he contacts us (Fatih and I) soon.

(* I have written something about that British friend of mine in my journal. I’m thinking of posting it here… dunno yet.)

Work, New Tasks and Office Politics.

28 Nov

There is so much on my plate these days. Work just simply eats almost my entire 24 hours. I can’t even seem to squeeze personal stuff. Urgh! This is too much!

The pressure is on me, right on top of my head. The pressure coming from the work colleagues, my former manager who won’t get out of my insy-winsy tail, as if I still work under him, and of course the pressure coming for the higher peeps in my organization.

I was not promoted but I was given a lot of new responsibilities now,  including a weekly report that I need to prepare and present in front of the executives and the big boss.

Talk about pressure.

The recent movement in our organization has brought me some good stuff and some not so good ones. I will explain ’em.

My team and I was transferred to a new department and I now directly report to the big boss but it has a pros and cons. I’ll start with the pros…

This is is not in order but I will start with the having a direct access to the boss and getting my presence felt in our organization, not just some sort of a “ghost” employee where you are not even being noticed at all. Then next is the opportunity to learn new things. Rubbing elbows with the executives every week, though most of the time, it’s all about reporting how your department is going, and some praising and bashing as well, I am seeing the weekly board meeting as my chance to learn from these higher people in our company. The way they run the company, their brilliant ideas, how they handle issues and a lot of things, just simply listening to ’em as they praise or bash you, you’ll learn. That I’d say is one of the great things I am getting out of this. Next would be the privilege to be able to call the shots for whatever I want to do with my team, of course that comes with the “ownership” , whether I do good or mess up, I own it so I got to be really wise about my decisions.

Now the not so good ones… first the pressure I am getting. They expect so much from me now. At times I am just too overwhelmed about the fact that I am doing this. It is a blessing that I get this privilege, but at times a cloud is in front of you blocking your good view.

Let me explain…

Sometimes because of the pressure I think about just backing out, I doubt myself, whether I can do it or not, whether I can meet or even exceed their expectations from me or will I be judged as an incompetent worker, not worthy of the position I am on right now. It scares me. I don’t want to fall short of what I am expected to do but I am being pushed outside of the “box” and I don’t know if I can “survive” as I leave my comfort zone.   Second, with all the demands this position I have, I think I am not well-compensated. Admit it, we all need money. And while I admit that the money I am receiving now is far from what I was receiving from my previous job, however, with me doing and thinking of the work almost 24/7 leaving me with no time at all for myself, I believe I am worthy to receive a pay rise to compensate at least for losing “my life”.

But nada! Nothing at all.

Next, my former supervisor, who like I said won’t get out of my insy-winsy tail. I was working under him for more than 6 months already when the big boss decided that I be moved to a new department and report directly to him. But this former manager still thinks that I still have to report to him and inform him of everything I do with my team and my department. He “checks” on me from time to time, ask for reports that I am not supposed to submit to him anymore, etc.. and when I told him that I was told to directly send the reports to the right people, he said to still cc: him on the email.

What the heck! Does he really need to know everything I do? As far as I am told, I have no more supervisor but everything is directly reported to the big boss. What is his problem now? Why can’t he let me go? While I still give him the things I need to submit to him but the other things he shouldn’t be concerned of, he should back off. He still want “documents” signed by him, after I sign it. Geez!!! What is wrong with him? Trying to control me? What is he scared of?

I can only see it in two ways, one is that he just can’t let me go because he thinks he lost someone important from his department or that he is threatened or don’t want me to get “promoted” or get the same stuff he gets from having the “direct access”? What is that? An ego problem? Oh man, he is seriously annoying me now. While I respect him as my former supervisor, I hope he realizes the fact that I am no longer working under him and that he should know where to stand. I don’t want him or anyone to think  that since I get this privilege, it has gone to my head. Or that I am being too proud now and doesn’t look back to where I was, which is not true at all. Never. Things are just different now from six months ago, I am given more tasks and I just have to do it right. And I just can’t compromise. What I am expected to do, I will do with God’s help and guidance. But the values and beliefs I have will remain. I’m not going to compromise them just for the sake of protecting someone in my organization. While “politics” exist in every organization, I don’t want to be part of it.

Am I Workhalic?

14 Nov

workaholicI am not workaholic. Never.

But today I worked for more than 12 hours. To be exact, 17 hours. Wow! Yeah Wow! and despite having a long day at work, I am still here blogging instead of getting some sleep. Hurray!!!!

I work in a BPO company and my work schedule is at night. It starts 9pm, supposed to end at 6am but ever since I started this job I could just count the few times when I didn’t work overtime.  So today, I went home at about 2pm…which is so far the worst “overtime” work I ever did. I don’t know if this is still “healthy”  figuratively speaking. It consumes me too much and leaves me less time, actually no time for myself and other things. My life evolves so much in my work. It is actually just work, eat and sleep and work, eat and sleep, and work, eat and sleep. A routine now. I actually don’t have a “life” now.

Okay, before I rant and write more about this. I will get some sleep. I need to. I can’t abuse myself anymore. It might backfire. Plus I still need to be at the office tonight.

Am I workhalic? I don’t think so. I just have no choice for now.

A Halloween Party Pooper!

31 Oct

Yes, ND  said I’m a party pooper.  That’s after me telling him about the Halloween party at work that I didn’t participate in, at least in wearing costume.  But I wore a black shirt. Ain’t it enough?

We have a Halloween celebration at the office but none from our department dressed up for it nor we have the Halloween decoration on our work stations. So I guess we are all a party poopers!

But I don’t care at all. While others from my department didn’t participate in wearing creepy costumes, might be because they just don’t feel like it or that they have other reasons, my own reason is because we don’t really celebrate it or I personally don’t at all believe in celebrating it. Why? I have reasons.

First, being a Christian, I don’t think I should. And I don’t think I should still elaborate on that.

Second, it’s not too “Filipino”.  It’s just too “American” for me.  While I don’t have anything against Americans celebrating them, dressing up in scary costumes or something… it’s just not actually the culture in the Philippines.  While it is also a holiday in the Philippines on this day, well, Nov. 1 actually, it’s not for Halloween, instead it’s called All Saint’s Day and the day after it, Nov 2, is All Souls Day.

Although growing up, I never had heard or seen anyone honoring the “saint’s” during Nov. 1, it is mostly spent going to hometowns and visiting relatives and the grave of the dead loved ones that stretches until Nov 2. It is when they offer flowers and lit candles, and for Chinese-Filipinos, it is also about offering food. However, growing up in  a Christian family, we didn’t really visit graves on the dates mentioned and offer prayers and candles at the same time because we believe that we can visit them anytime in a year, lit candles and that’s it.

About praying for them, I don’t think so. They are already dead. I mean, the main reason most Catholics believe that they should pray for the dead love ones is because they believe in purgatory (which Christians like me don’t) and that their dead family member may be in that place so if they keep on praying for them, God will deliver them out from that place and send them to heaven. That’s the reason we don’t have to pray for them anymore. Because it’s either you go to hell or heaven and there is nothing you can do about it anymore once you are in any of that place.

We can also visit them on these dates but it’s not just because of the tradition.

Third reason. We are just too busy in our department. We have a lot of workloads at the moment and it can’t be delayed.  Yes it may sound too corny but that’s exactly what happened. Others are interested to have something, but none of us have the time to decorate and I guess some of them as just not interested at all for some reasons. But even if I have the time, I won’t. Others, if they want to, I won’t mind it at all.

So I don’t care if I am called a party pooper or what, as long as I don’t compromise my beliefs and hold on to my conviction no matter which environment I am in.

How Joshua Harris Made Me Unproductive For A Day (Part 1)

20 Sep

There are a lot of things that are going through my mind lately. Just this Monday, I was at work but didn’t really do any work, because my mind was (and still is, till now) occupied that kept me off my concentration to get things done at the office. Although I did few minor stuff done, but most of the time I just spent it contemplating about life and myself and my surroundings. I was not glued to my chair all day, I kept standing up, walking, going to the washroom, pantry, locker room and even outside the office. And aside that I was quite annoyed over some people in my workplace, I was occupied thinking about things that I might say, really matters.

I’d like to blame Joshua Harris for this. LOL. No, I’m kidding. But well, yeah after listening to one of his sermons I’ve downloaded online a week ago, Some nagging questions started to stepped in. The sermon’s title is “Don’t waste your life”.

Being a reader of Joshua Harris’ books for almost a decade now, not to mention my irregular visit to his blog and their church websites, I feel like I know him personally now. I don’t know. I am now accustomed to his style, may it be writing or preaching.. yet he still and always amazes me of his profound ideas and the anointing God has given him. Although I find almost all of his sermons very enriching and helpful to my life specifically the spiritual aspect of my life, this particular “Don’t Waste Your Life” sermon has made an impact on me, especially, when he asked the question, “Did you live for what matters?” Although there are more stuff to learn and contemplate from the sermon, but that particular phrase/question moved me. It has been a few days now that I use the “Do you live for what matters?” phrase as my status message on my yahoo messenger, msn, skype, and gmail, and yeah even on my account on facebook. I think I just wanted to remind myself of the question all time by writing them everywhere. Also get the others on my friend’s list thinking too if they are “living for what matters.” I’m sure somehow it made it them think. One of my friends even responded to it saying, “what a question!” Another one said, “that made me think!” I knew what they meant by that.

I’ve already had tons of nagging questions in my head, but this one tops all of them. Do I live for what matters? I started thinking of what really matters not only in my life but in this world. Because if I am to define or enumerate what matters in my life, I could list a lot of selfish things that I think really matters. I could think about myself, my career, family, relationship, (well these two really matters), then promotion, savings, traveling local and overseas, car, house/condo, etc.. all of which are considered too selfish (except for the two I’d say).

Then I started to look at it in a Christian perspective… what God has given me, the “talents” that I am supposed to use, to cultivate or increase or make use of, not for my glory but for His. The resources God has blessed me with, how can I use it to show the world of God’s greatness? Then I started thinking if I am being a blessing to my family and to all the people around me or am I being a burden?

I could reveal too much about myself if I will write all the thoughts I have on this blog. But I guess I am just too overwhelmed of the ideas and questions that I can’t really put them all into writing.

You see, being a Christian, not to mention a member of a Minister’s family, is something I should say not easy. Don’t get me wrong, being a Christian is wonderful. I feel privileged to get to know Jesus, to be able to worship him, to be His child and to be saved. Being a Christian is a privilege. That’s how I look at it. You have this unlimited access to God, to talk Him, knowing He really listens and cares. These are just some of the wonderful things about being a Christian, but it wasn’t easy as well. Although now I meet a lot of Christians everywhere I go, still sometimes, I can’t help but feel different from the rest when you are one. I am not saying it’s bad but they just don’t or can’t understand why I act or do things this or that way.

And having a parent as Church Pastor (the head pastor in our area, you see I am from one of the big Christian churches in my country) is another thing. When I was a growing up, I used to think if being a pastor’s kid is a curse or a blessing. Although I must admit that we not only experience the “privilege” of knowing Christ but also the “fringe benefits” of being part of this family. Yes you get special treatments and all.. ( which sometimes I honestly do not enjoy) but hey, that is part of it. I could mention a lot of things that can be classified as good and not so good about being a pastor’s child. But as I grew older, God has started to make me realize that this is one of what he has given me, one the resources that he blessed me with that I should make use of. Instead of running away from it, rebelling against my parent’s position at the church, I should take it as an advantage to give back the glory to Him. It may be hard to be a pastor’s child but this is God what has given me and I must embraced it and help my parents fulfill their “duties” at the church and at home.

Another is, I am also blessed to be offered a position in the company I’m working for. I know this is just one of His works in my life. That is why, everyday, I acknowledge my nothingness before him, asking him continuously for wisdom and knowledge and the leadership skills and all the things I need to give justice to the role that he entrusted me with. Sometimes, I get weary and feel like backing out especially when I get overwhelmed with all the negativity I am facing… that I am thinking of quitting my job. Yet, God will remind me that I am here in this position not for what is written on my CV but because God has put me here. And who am I not to accept? And like being a pastor’s child, I also get to enjoy the fringe benefits of being a supervisor in my workplace, but I know on top of those privileges, God put me in this post for a reason and that is what matters. I am not here for nothing. He has put me here to bring back the glory back to Him.

to be continued…

Resignations and Low Morale…

3 Sep

What would you do when you received three (yes freaking 3!) resignation letters all in one day? Not to mention, getting it at the start of shift!

Man! I am just so not in peace right now.  I couldn’t work well. I am so much bothered. I am wondering what is going on. Just barely 2-3 weeks ago, we had to layoff some staff and unfortunately 3 of them are my team members. I used to have 8 members, downsized to 5 when ‘they’ decided to layoff when the clients asked for it.  I was torn. While the 2 of them were new hires, working for barely 2-3 months I think, the other one has been here for quite some time, more than a year and is performing well, yet was decided to be part of the people that we had to let go.  That person was never a headache to me and to the team, both work and attitude wise. So, I was really bothered when I found out about the management’s decision. I even questioned them, asked if we still could do something. I wasn’t at peace when I’ve learned about it. I couldn’t sleep.

And now, 3 resignation letters on my desk.

What do I do with this? I know I will need to talk to them and ask them personally about their decisions. Although I am getting hints or just having some guesses and assumptions of what could be the reasons of them wanting to quit from their jobs.  I know it is related to the layoff that happened a few weeks back because one of those who were relieved from work happens to be one of their friends at work. I knew they were hurt badly. As their team leader, it was painful too being in the situation. You are just in the middle, in between the management and the workforce. And it’s simply not easy.

I will talk to them definitely. While I know some of the questions I want to ask them, I still feel lost of words. Three resignation letters all in one day is serious. While I admit that I am concerned that this will reflect my own performance, especially that my evaluation will be up soon ( yeah, very good timing isn’t!?), I am more concerned of why they all three decided to do it all at the same time.

For me, it’s more of a protest on their part. While their letters shows gratitude for giving them the opportunity to be part of the company, I know and I feel that there is more than that. The problem didn’t just start on the day some staff were relieved, it actually just triggered them more or gave them the concrete reason for doing so. The problem started way before I joined the company. I’ve been hearing a lot since my first few weeks in here.

It is just sad. They are my performers. I admit, it’s going to wreck my own performance, and so the team’s.  This is devastating.

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